At 10, I already thought about how my actions then would affect me 10 years down the road. I'm not trying to sound condescending, but I was that risk averse. That's all good and it got me here but my biggest mistake was to think that "genuinity" is real and will prevail.

People see what they wanna see.

I guess this is good bye. 

Write.

I'm recycling relevant things I wrote in my journal for the past many years.

Sometimes I don't even know how I came up with these things and I feel like I've lost that same curiosity, fascination for things that I strongly believe matter most.

Other times, I'm glad I made the thoughts permanent, at least on a piece of paper.

Where gravity is dead

The concept of borrowing and lending in Islam is simple. You pay back the exact amount you borrow. The lender should not expect a return. Interest is exploitative and unfair because it guarantees the lender a profit without having to do the work or bear any of the risk.

The problem is people are already accustomed to the practice that they should be rewarded for waiting (i.e. interest) but that is not the true fundamental for borrowing and lending. It is to assist those in need by mobilising funds from those who are in possession of excess funds which they do not need to use at that specific moment.

It is a relationship based on social betterment.
However, it's funny how there are innumerable psychological variables and elements in Economics yet altruism is always dismissed. This is what differs from Islam. Instead of "husnuzon" or thinking the best in others, they'd rather subscribe to assuming the worst in people.

This is evidenced by how "Wealth of Nations" got a more prominent recognition, when "Theory of Moral Sentiments" was really more descriptive/accurate in explaining the economic mechanisms of society.

-Of borrowing and lending, ainulryakova, 15th November 2011

oh a smile would melt me to an asphalt strip

Perhaps you experience the truth only when you do not deny the shortcoming and the pain that comes with it no matter how severe.

The truth is exclusive even though it may not appear so and if people knew that, the effort put to hiding it will instead be used to finding it.

What I mean by the former statement is that, take for instance an article you read about something closely related to you, and it tells you something generally negative. If it's true, then you should not deny it which is difficult as accepting the truth often comes with a soft stab to the heart no matter how oblivious or in denial you are of the pain. However, if the article is untrue, you will be left feeling indifferent.

By the latter statement I mean, the truth is not exclusive to certain people but to those who seek it. The truth is so significant and immeasurably insightful but people somehow tend to go out of their way to avoid it. ironic.

-Of the truth, ainulryakova, 3rd November 2011.